Dining on "The Pride of Aloha"

Whenever I tell people we've just gone on a cruise around the Hawaiian islands, I hastily add, "But we're not really Cruise People." It's totally unfair to paint with a broad brush, but most Cruise People are a little older, a little less active and much less likely to take risks. They lounge by the ship pool sipping brightly colored drinks adorned with umbrellas, then board air-conditioned buses for narrated drives between photo ops and souvenier shops.

Fortunately, motorcoachs and maitais aren't mandatory. A smaller group of passengers skip the shrink wrapped vacation experiences and strike out on their own. Cruises provide surprisingly affordable accomodations, transportation between the islands, and of course, food. You're here for the food, right? So am I.

Our voyage started with all the components for a happy food time: swarms of staff, restaurants dressed in their Sunday best and upscale menus: lobster, baked alaska, beef wellington, island moi... the list goes on and on. I was impressed by a filet mignon topped with generous portions of foie gras and a black truffle slice the size of a quarter.

Yet even with all the right components, dining fell short. Service was uneven and lacked an attention to detail. (With only four entree options each night, waitstaff should be able to describe them!) Dinners were executed by rote, while breakfasts and lunches were buffet lines in disguise. Like the bus tours, the meals were safe and predictable, never straying too far from the familiar. Many people enjoyed the food, but we had hoped for more.

At the risk of sounding like a snob, the food tasted best to people for whom fine dining is novel. We sat one evening with Cruise People from downstate Illinois; a charming couple celebrating thirty five years of marriage. The husband confided in us, "We were going to stay on shore tonight, until we heard they were serving lobster. Pay this money and then not eat the lobster?! Not gonna happen." I sincerely hope that Mr. and Mrs. Illinois can some day experience lobster as it should be, not overcooked and rubbery.

We're glad we tried a cruise--it was a relaxing time away from real life, a chance to explore our neighbor islands--but we're still not converted to Cruise People. Go for the scenery, but based on our experience you shouldn't pin your hopes on the food. Despite how good it looks, you'll do better in town.